Tahir shahzad: July 2020

Friday 31 July 2020

Here is a picture of my ugly face, because apparently it doesn't matter what you post in this sub.

submitted by /u/Merancapeman to r/pics
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Kim Jong Un Rips a Cheeky Fart (2015 Colorized)

submitted by /u/NicheArchitecture to r/fakehistoryporn
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Bill Gates on Elon Musk’s controversial coronavirus comments: Stick with electric cars and rockets

submitted by /u/Balls_of_Adamanthium to r/Coronavirus
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Prince Andrew lobbied US government for better plea deal for a former friend in the disgraced late financier’s underage prostitution case, newly released Ghislaine Maxwell documents claim

submitted by /u/New_Diet to r/worldnews
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Doggo has a message!

submitted by /u/PhuckMeLongTime to r/aww
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Yankees and Red Sox honor the Astros to start their series.

submitted by /u/clutch1521 to r/baseball
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I design fake products so I created a no germ touch tool that is a replica of my finger.

submitted by /u/rightcoastguy to r/funny
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Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg released from hospital

submitted by /u/hildebrand_rarity to r/news
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So there's this guy, bro

submitted by /u/idea4granted to r/dankmemes
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Trump says he's voting absentee in the 2020 election after months of baseless attacks on mail-in voting

submitted by /u/Twoweekswithpay to r/politics
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Some cuddling please

submitted by /u/JoshDaBoiOnReddit to r/wholesomememes
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Thinking you deserve a full salary for babysitting your own kids while they do schoolwork.

submitted by /u/jbosch2 to r/ChoosingBeggars
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FCC has been using dead peoples accounts to shill for ending Net Neutrality.

submitted by /u/AksTheGreat to r/facepalm
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I am now scarred for life

submitted by /u/Deltazip to r/Minecraft
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194 countries faked a virus for the sole purpose of interfering with 1 (one) country's politics

submitted by /u/hysuns to r/insanepeoplefacebook
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The footprint of a Roman toddler has been preserved on this tile for 2000 years

submitted by /u/MarioFromThePub to r/interestingasfuck
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Dads: I don’t want a new puppy. Also Dads:

submitted by /u/unnaturalorder to r/aww
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The White House reportedly scrapped a national testing plan because the virus was mostly hitting blue states

submitted by /u/TheWeekMag to r/politics
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TIL: In his college days, Steve Wozniak used a blue box (an illegal phone hacking device) to call the Vatican. He pretended to be Henry Kissinger and asked to speak with the Pope but was denied because the Pope was asleep.

submitted by /u/danthoms to r/todayilearned
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Thursday 30 July 2020

TIL Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's father descended from Black Loyalists, who escaped to Nova Scotia after the Revolutionary War on the promise of British emancipation.

submitted by /u/JoeCos47 to r/todayilearned
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Do bosses like Michael Scott actually exist? And if you work/ed for one, what's your craziest story?

submitted by /u/Supersmaaashley to r/AskReddit
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Bryan Cranston Reveals Bout With COVID-19: “Keep Wearing The Damn Mask!”

submitted by /u/Almighty_One to r/Coronavirus
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Bye, boomer: the coming cull of workers over 50: Employers seize on slumps to purge more expensive, more experienced workers, study warns

submitted by /u/texlorax to r/Economics
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Federalist Society Co-Founder Calls Trump Bid To Change Election Day ‘Fascistic,’ Impeachable

submitted by /u/grepnork to r/politics
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Trying to lift up a soccer player

submitted by /u/Hoshigakiandy to r/WatchPeopleDieInside
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So many ways to mess things up so little time

submitted by /u/juliavalc to r/WhitePeopleTwitter
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A caribou captured shedding its velvet.

submitted by /u/Elephant-Killer to r/interestingasfuck
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Socialism

submitted by /u/badAtGames4real to r/facepalm
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My two friends and I after passing our Eagle Scout Board of Review

submitted by /u/heresyisokay to r/pics
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Cuphead on a 1964 Magnavox "Color Roundie"

submitted by /u/jmetal88 to r/gaming
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My husband tampered with his condom and forced me to keep the baby

I(24f) have a husband(30m) and a new born child.

My husband admitted to wanting a child knowing I didn’t so he poked holes in his condoms hoping to get me pregnant. When I found out I was he claimed that it must be meant to be since we took all of the precautions we could. I wanted to abort but he got mad and told me that I’m not killing his child.

When he told me what He did I started crying that he put me through so much pain during the pregnancy and risked my life(almost bled out) instead of finding someone who wants kids. I’m not sure what to do, I need advice

submitted by /u/throwRAujkolkj to r/relationship_advice
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The sounds it makes

submitted by /u/codallas to r/Damnthatsinteresting
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Watch until the end

submitted by /u/Cursed_MINECRAFTer to r/Minecraft
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First image from Disney & Pixar’s all-new film “Luca.” Directed by Enrico Casarosa & produced by Andrea Warren, the film will introduce a boy named Luca as he experiences an unforgettable summer in a seaside town on the Italian Riviera. “Luca” opens in theaters summer 2021.

submitted by /u/chanma50 to r/movies
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Just increased my car’s value by 1 billion dollars

submitted by /u/RudyWillingham to r/funny
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Kenny the Jet: "[Lou Williams] tried to fool everybody saying he was going in for the wings. We went in there for the legs and the thighs"

submitted by /u/UnclutchCurry to r/nba
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What is something YouTubers do that annoys the crap out of you?

submitted by /u/jasmall12 to r/AskReddit
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Alabama lawmaker resigns as preacher after attending birthday party for KKK leader

submitted by /u/stripedphan to r/news
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🔥 Painting I just finished, oil on canvas.

submitted by /u/DimitriSirenko to r/NatureIsFuckingLit
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LPT: If your young child suddenly starts misbehaving after watching TV, check if they've been watching "Caliou"

One of my relatives had an absolute saga on their social media page about how their son would suddenly start doing naughty/ deliberately annoying shit after the 1/2 hour in the afternoon she plunked him in front of the TV so she could get stuff done. Specifically, how unbelievably whiny he became.

It was "like a switch". Always. No TV time, no suddenly bad kid. They had no problem dealing with it but couldn't understand why it happened because dad had locked out everything that wasn't Y7/G-rated, absolutely ironclad.

This went on for a MONTH before I convinced her that many post-2000 "kids shows" are in fact complete garbage, and suggested she peek in on him. Soon after that, she messaged me asking how to block one more show.

Inexplicable bad behavior has ceased. And judging from multiple parent-review sites, she's far from the only mother that this has happened to.

EDIT: Holy flaming crap on toast, this blew up like the Death Star!

Keep calm, show your kids Looney Tunes, and to hell with "outdated cultural references".

submitted by /u/Cade_Connelly_13 to r/LifeProTips
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Herman Cain dies after attending the Tulsa rally.

submitted by /u/bippal to r/LeopardsAteMyFace
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My family has a restaurant on a Greek island. Here's how we respond to the influencers asking for free food in exchange for social media coverage.

My family has a restaurant on a Greek island. We receive dozens of messages like these every year:

"I'm an influencer, can I come and eat in exchange for posting a photo of your restaurant on instagram?"

https://preview.redd.it/1c5ax5crryd51.png?width=487&format=png&auto=webp&s=ba599fa06d569335071b7189721ecd2d7b71263d

For the last 3 years I have been responding with the following:

“thank you very much, however our restaurant has a policy. We charge every influencer who wants to eat here normally, however we offer food of equal value to people in need instead."

https://preview.redd.it/baptogxsryd51.png?width=488&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff3175e922b77d448fbfbe33c3ac31a6b0d83102

NO ONE has ever accepted to come under this condition. That is, to pay for his food even if I will then offer free food of the same value to people in need. Most of they time they don't even reply and some even delete their original message.

Dear influencers: You are just making a fool out of yourselves by trying to create a fake cosmopolitan lifestyle based on begging.

You can read the original source in Greek here.

submitted by /u/Chamallow81 to r/Instagramreality
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Wednesday 29 July 2020

TIL Casa Bonita needs to monitor the airing of the South Park episode because it causes an influx of customers.

submitted by /u/TheMatt561 to r/todayilearned
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this is too pure ❤

submitted by /u/TahmagicKenchShell to r/MadeMeSmile
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If you mine the nether gold with silk touch you get an ingot instead of nuggets. (Sorry for quality)

submitted by /u/NotAVelociraptor03 to r/Minecraft
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Fact.

submitted by /u/silentonc to r/WhitePeopleTwitter
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Her braids are 🔥

submitted by /u/GallowBoob to r/BlackPeopleTwitter
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The most exclusive club

submitted by /u/prbecker to r/DunderMifflin
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Understandable, have a nice day

submitted by /u/__Dawn__Amber__ to r/dankmemes
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Texas farmer found an astronaut helmet from the Columbia disaster in 2003

submitted by /u/gabunga to r/nevertellmetheodds
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Opinion : male Karens should be called Tuckers

submitted by /u/whodat514 to r/FuckYouKaren
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It's important to train and exercise every part of your body

submitted by /u/super_monero to r/gifs
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TIFU by buying my wife a sex book

Our sex life has been pretty boring for the three years we’ve been married. We are both on our second marriage, I’m a widower and she’s divorced.

My late wife was very very adventurous and her first husband was vanilla missionary or nothing.

Over lunch yesterday we talked about sex and how it’s become mundane with her admitting that she’s only really ever felt comfortable with “ordinary” sex because that’s all she’s known. I suggested we get a book for her to read to get an idea of what she might like to try.

So we went into town to the bookshop and bought a book which she spent the next three hours reading in the bath.

Come bed time, 9pm unusually, I’m dragged to bed and set upon in very pleasurable way until about an hour in I feel fingers caressing my anus and perineum. Then a finger followed and to my surprise the one and only vibrator (a small one) we have was pushed inside of me. Much pleasure was had until my wife gasped and started to sound worried.

Behind me I felt a lot of fumbling, wife was sounding worried then just stopped and said sorry. I asked what had happened, the vibe had slipped (been pushed) a little to far and had gone all the way in.

For the next hour we tried to excrete the thing and finally gave up, still buzzing inside.

As we’d both had a drink a taxi was booked and a trip to A&E was made.

It took only a few minutes with a speculum, lube and forceps to remove the then quiet vibe from me and after promising to be more careful in future we returned home.

This morning I skipped my normal bike ride and have sat gingerly at my desk.

Wife just wandered in and wondered if I’d like to get a bigger vibe so it doesn’t get stuck. I don’t know what I’ve awakened.

Tldr: bought wife a sex book and ended up in a&e with vibe stuck in my anus.

submitted by /u/Theojfk88 to r/tifu
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