This happened 2 days ago so still quite fresh with emabarisment & shame (this is a throwaway account)
I have a good friend, lets call her T.
I've always been attracted to T but not to the extent that i want to be romantically involved with her just sexually. We have been childhood friends since a young age and I was coming back to stay the night at my mothers to get away so we decided to do dinner at her's and reminisce over a bottle of wine.
A few hours in and deep in conversation, she starts telling me about her sexual conquests and it turns out T is quite the deviant. I'm relatively prude so hearing about his kind of stuff comes as a shock as i didn't know that some of this stuff existed outside the realm of staged porn. conversation went on and 3 bottles in i mention i have a certain powdered narcotic in my car that i got cold feet about using at a previous party. We decide its gonna be an all nighter...
Time goes on and at around 4am when we have indulged in enough class A's that even Charlie Sheen would be calling it a night. Me and T are close, a lot of touching and feeling going on, we start dancing an things feel like they are getting more intimate. This is where i make my move, rejection... I try to make several advances but each one is shot down. We decide to call it a night with a disclaimer saying that i could stay but sex isn't going to happen.
We go to bed and although she said it wasn't going to happen, things started heading in a different direction. When things finally advance i'm as flaccid as prince Andrew at an over 18's night. Things de-escalate and I start to freak out that i had completely ruined it and possibly our friendship. T calms me down and says its for the best, gets up and chastises me as officially in the friendship zone. We talk and get to a good place again and T falls asleep but i cant sleep. I head home and people are already on there way to work. I awkwardly bump into my mother while i was still buzzed, telling her i just stayed round T's house and that i was gonna have a nap then head off. I didn't sleep until 11pm the next day suffering in shame and the hangover of doom. We ended up having a good night but struggling to focus on anything with the pure amount of shame & embarrassment i feel.
TL;DR Ruined what would possibly be the best sex of my life, jeopardized my friendship and getting officiated into the friendship zone from one of the hottest girls i know & ruining all future chances.
To quote Rick James, 'Cocaine's a hell of a drug'
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