TIFU by misunderstanding a text from my wife, thinking my kid had thrown up, and missing out on sex

This wasn't today, it was actually Sunday.

The other night my wife and I were getting ready for bed and being kind of flirty. I had to use the restroom, so stayed downstairs while she went up to bed. While I was sitting on the toilet I got a text: "Bring a bucket and a mop."

Crap, one of my kids must have thrown up. I finished my toilet biz and went down to the basement to check the cleaning supplies. I found a bucket, but couldn't find a mop. i found one of those squeezy sponge things, but the sponge was missing. Figuring the vomit was probably congealing by this point, I just grabbed the bucket and a bunch of paper towels and ran upstairs.

I got to the upstairs bathroom and found no mess. I carried the cleaning supplies down to my kids rooms, but found no vomit. I went to our bedroom and found my wife lying on the bed. She asked what had taken me so long, and I said I couldn't find a mop, and where was the mess?

She started rolling around on the bed laughing. Suddenly I realized "Bring a bucket and a mop" was a line from "WAP (Wet Ass Pussy)." My wife had been in the mood, and I had spent 15 minutes looking for a mop in the basement.

She was laughing so much that the mood was basically dead.

TL;DR: My wife texted me a line from a Cardi B song to tell me she was in the mood. I thought she wanted me to bring cleaning supplies because a kid threw up.

submitted by /u/Crudbum to r/tifu
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